Our Aim to Please

Behaviour is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.

I was thinking today about how much I try and please people. Now, sometimes this isn’t a bad thing, but sometimes it is. I find myself trying so hard that actually it ends up going in the opposite direction. It feels a little like self-sabotage, and then I found the above quote on a website called Psycology Today.

I find this in so many aspects of my life. Work – as soon as my boss comes in and is watching me teach a class, I panic so much that I am doing something wrong or not how they like and I just make my teaching style worse. But when I’m alone, I know I am doing a good job. Acting – you do so much work preparing for an audition and you feel confident, but as soon as you are sat in that waiting room you question yourself. As you walk in the room you doubt all that you have prepared and it leads to a less bolder performance.

What can we do to over come this?

  1. Deal with your inner negative voice – basically remove all negative thinking. Easier said than done, but try it and see how you feel. Even just for one day.
  2. Be prepared – always feel satisfied in the preparation you have done and never doubt yourself! NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF!
  3. Don’t give up – I’m quite good at just giving up and accepting failure. Don’t! If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again (as the saying goes).
  4. Accept your weaknesses and turn them to strengths – you know what you aren’t good at, so except it, work on it and make it a strength.
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